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A fun quote from my huge collection!
Quote #483:
101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR:
(1) Scarecrow for centipedes
(2) Dead cat brush
(3) Hair barrettes
(4) Cleats
(5) Self-piercing earrings
(6) Fungus trellis
(7) False eyelashes
(8) Prosthetic dog claws
...
(99) Window garden harrow (pulled behind Tonka tractors)
(100) Killer velcro
(101) Currency